Dr Rick Kirschner, How Healthy Communication Builds Healthy Relationships – InnovaBuzz 353
Dr Rick Kirschner, Dealing with People You Can’t Stand
In this episode, I’m really excited to have as my guest, Dr Rick Kirschner, who is a best-selling author and co-author of numerous books and multimedia programs, including the international bestseller, “Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst”, “Love Thy Customer”, “Life by Design”, “Insider’s Guide to the Art of Persuasion”, and “How to Click with People: The Secret to Better Relationships in Business and in Life”.
Rick is a naturopathic physician and the President of the Naturopathic Medicine Institute. He’s a long-time faculty member with the Institute for Management Studies and a thought leader with Athena Interactive. He has worked with some of the world’s best-known organizations, including Argonne National Laboratory, Heineken, NASA, Progressive Insurance, the U.S. Army, and National Guard.
In our discussion, Rick talked to me about:
- Being of service to people with healthy communication
- How art is the creative application of skill
- What we can learn from the punctuated equilibrium of nature
Dr Rick Brinkman in episode 292 introduced us to Rick.
Listen to the podcast to find out more.
Listen to the PodcastThe art of change requires an internal skillset of being able to be at peace with not knowing and the willingness to reserve a place in your mind no matter how certain you are that you could be wrong. @DrKND on #InnovaBuzz podcast Click To Tweet
Show Notes from this episode with Dr Rick Kirschner, Co-author of Dealing with People You Can’t Stand
Key points and takeaways from this episode include:
- You need to learn how to listen, and you need to learn how to talk.
- We get more done by side effects than by direct effects. All the changes that happen in our lives are side effects of the things we thought were more important or we thought we are going to do.
- The whole purpose of business is to serve others. If you don’t serve well, you don’t deserve to be in business.
- To do something worthwhile in our lives, we want to facilitate change for the better.
- Art is the application of skill. Change is the transition from what we know to what we don’t know. The Art of Change is applying skill and imagination to moving from the “known” to the “unknown”.
- The art of change requires an internal skillset of being able to be at peace with not knowing and the willingness to reserve a place in your mind no matter how certain you are that you could be wrong.
- Change is a transactional thing between people. If you want to facilitate change in others, you have to leave room for them to help you change.
- As a business owner, you are almost always in a persuasion interaction. In whatever you are doing, you are trying to create something to help something happen, and that involves interacting with people in a way that somebody is moved towards some outcome.
- Insistence creates resistance.
- People like to engage in all kinds of things. If you can understand what people are actually interested in or what their needs are, and you have something that facilitates what they care about, you don’t have to work so hard at persuading them at all. You simply have to present it in a way that they recognise it.
- Selling has to be reframed to engaging.
- Survival does not go to the strongest nor to the most intelligent. It goes to the organism that is most adaptive to change.
- When you pay attention to what’s changing and you’re adapting to it instead of resisting it, you are better positioned right now than all those who have been scrambling after or dreading what’s coming.
- Being resourceful means trying to get ahead instead of just sitting and reacting to things.
- The punctuated equilibrium of nature states that everything in nature has a pause. Humans work the same way because we are a part of nature.
- Take a pause to get ready for something instead of always trying to be “on”. Wise people take the time off to be resourceful. They look at the trends and see where things are going. They adapt to change.
- Nothing goes back to what was. Everything keeps going. Stop looking at the world we used to be in and start looking at the world we are in.
- There are opportunities in the environment but opportunity doesn’t always knock. Pay attention to it.
- You can keep yourself healthy and protect yourself against illness and infection, and you can do it with it natural medicine.
- Naturopaths don’t treat to suppress. They treat to restore health.
- If we can all get back to health, there is a higher return for society.
- Motivation comes down to fear and desire. A lot of desire and a little bit of fear is the highest form of motivation.
The Buzz – Our Innovation Round
Here are Rick’s answers to the questions of our innovation round. Listen to the conversation to get the full scoop.
- #1 thing to be more innovative – Make useful assumptions. Making useful assumptions is the beginning of wisdom when it comes to creating change with people and being innovative.
- Best thing for new ideas – Do something about it. Be in the moment and write it down.
- Favourite tool for innovation – Talking to people and good listening.
- Keep project/client on track – Know what you want and stay relevent to it. Change happens when you know what you really want.
- Differentiate – There is only one YOU. Nobody has the experiences that made you who you are. Value yourself and what’s unique about you. A life lived with purpose is a life well-lived. Knowing your purpose and what fulfills you in life is the way to differentiate yourself.
To Be a Leader
A life well-lived is a life where you make things happen instead of waiting for things to happen. There is no moment like the present to get started. There is no better time to plant a tree than today. We are all here as information gatherers and opportunity identifiers. We are here to live a life of service, and the degree that we do these things, is how we live great lives.
You can reach out and thank Rick through his email.
Rick suggested we have a conversation with Aden Nepom, from Art of Change and science journalist and book author Jennifer Margulis. So Aden and Jennifer, keep an eye on your inboxes for an invitation from us to the InnovaBuzz podcast, courtesy of Dr Rick Krischner.
- Dealing with People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst
- Love Thy Customer
- Life By Design: Making Wise Choices in a Mixed-Up World
- Insider’s Guide to the Art of Persuasion
- How to Click with People: The Secret to Better Relationships in Business and in Life
Cool Things About Rick
- He attended Northern Kentucky University where he earned his bachelor’s degree in Human Biology
- He graduated from the National College of Naturopathic Medicine in Portland Oregon in 1981.
- He retired in 2016 but is available for two speeches a year and as master of ceremonies once a year.